Mom part 6...

“They (the Irish) are good-humored, charming, hospitable, and gregarious…”
                                                                                                   Monica, McGoldrick, Ethnicity and Family Therapy

Mom, Dad, Jerry & Cel McCabe

Over the years Mom had a multitude of friends and family surrounding her. Whether it was vacationing at the beach or a family reunion, Mom enjoyed talking with the people she loved. She could spend hours on the phone with one of her siblings, or with a good friend. When the TV series Knots Landing was on, I can remember sitting with Mom in the TV room while she simultaneously watched the show and talked with my brother Kevin about it on the phone. For Mom, everything was more fun if there was someone with whom to share the joy.
 

The Burnham (sister Helen and her family) holiday brunch with a few of the Dougherty clan

Kids, Grandkids, and Great-Grandkids

Mom loved her children. There were times when that love darn near drove us crazy. She had great expectations of all of us, and a firm belief that her expectations wouldn’t just be met, but exceeded. That extended to her grandchildren as they came along, and had she known her great-grandchildren beyond infancy, I’m sure it would have extended to them as well.

She was the matriarch of our clan, and some of us were fortunate enough to know her for many years. One of the reasons I started to write this was for the ones who will only know her from our stories and pictures. There was nothing she loved more than having her children and their children around her. And she did get to meet some of her great-grandchildren before she died, though they won’t all remember it.

Pat and Doc

It was a love story that lasted for more than 60 years, was blessed with a healthy, happy family, and was filled with enough joy, laughter, grief, and loss for many lifetimes. There’s no doubt that his loving care kept her alive during her battle with Alzheimer’s. She lit up when he came into her room at Vincentian Home at the end of her life. His commitment to taking care of her was reminiscent of her care of her dad and Rita Rooney at the end of their lives, only this time she was on the receiving end.

In her autobiography Mom wrote, “Mama and Papa Smith...would turn over in their grave if they knew what a gem they had in their first born daughter…” My feeling is that if they did turn over in their grave, it would only be to get a better look. They can be proud of her. After all, Dad never got to the other names on that list of potential dates...

That's the bulk of what I wrote about Mom. I did a little editing and included far fewer pictures. Can you every really share the essence of another person in words? Probably not. And I won't pretend that I've completely come to terms with my relationship with Mom.  I expect that will take a lifetime, after all, there's always something more to learn.

The picture on the right is special to me, because that's my dog, Blarney, posing with Mom and Dad. Blarney was the only dog Mom ever allowed to hang out in her house (other than a few dogs who had to live in the basement during their short stay). She loved Blarney so much she even let her sit on the porch furniture, shocking Mic no end. She even agreed to babysit Blarney occasionally if I had to go out of town, which led to a moment of great embarrassment for her. I came back and she confessed to me that during the night Blarney had eaten a quarter pound of fudge, box and all, that Mom left in the family room. Blarney was none the worse for it - her sturdy Lab frame was able to handle it - but Mom made sure to put away the goodies before she went to bed from then on!

Below is a copy of the obituary I wrote, and that Dad, Mic, and Kev helped to edit. I hope you've enjoyed meeting Mom and the rest of the clan.

I'll be at writing workshops the next two weeks, so I'm not sure if I'll get the blogs done, and if I do, if they'll be on time. Stay tuned...

Doc

Mom, Dad, and Blarney