What matters most...

I'm late with this post. I'd intended to write it last night, and I couldn't. The Steeler game was on TV, and I was watching for a while before I wrote. About 4 minutes into the game, a young man on the Steeler team made a tackle the wrong way, and was injured. He wasn't moving his legs, and it looked catastrophic. His teammates and coach were visibly upset, and even the other team was concerned. They had trouble concentrating on football. I had trouble concentrating on writing.

What in the world was there to say? That I was sitting on the couch in the TV room, sick at heart at the possibility that a young man might be seriously injured? Nothing I could think about to write made any sense at all in that moment, so I didn't write.

Today, I heard that he is doing better, and has some movement in his legs. They are still doing tests, but that is hopeful.

The Steeler sideline at Heinz Field before the first preseason game this year

A sunset on the Big Sur coast - not a fire area, just fiery in appearance

Then there was the news of the Thomas Fire in Ventura County, California. 60,000 acres in the last 24-36 hours, zero percent contained, spreading very fast because of the Santa Ana winds. I have a friend who, along with her partner and their animals, are at risk if it keeps spreading. The picture she posted this morning on Instagram was terrifying, especially if she took the picture herself.

And what is there to say about that? That I hope they are safe, of course. And all of the other folks impacted by the fire.

Someone once wrote to me in an email that it felt like there was always something - an onslaught of traumas or painful experiences. I don't know if there are more now than there ever were before. Maybe it's partly that we live longer than people used to, so we experience more over time.

I also ran across a journal I kept for a class when I was at Naropa, in which I shared this: I found that a lot of anger has come up...In talking with my teacher, she suggested I try not to identify it or fix it, but just to be with it when it comes up, and let my body work with it and through it. That, of course, is very uncomfortable...

It seems that we are required to bear witness to much that feels unbearable. And there are, in fact, times when we must try to fix things in our world, and participate rather that simply observe. But in the times when we can do nothing except be present or turn away, we need to be present. It's like going to a funeral and feeling unable to find anything to say. The words don't matter. Our wordless presence says it all - we are willing to be there to support someone we care about. That is love.

Wednesday, December 6 update: I heard from my friend, who along with her partner and animals was evacuated yesterday. They are safe, though the fire line is approximately a mile from their home and the fire is 0% contained as of this morning. The winds have died down overnight, but are expected to increase again. Yesterday, according to one news source, the fire burned at an acre a second, the equivalent of Central Park in New York being consumed in 15 minutes.

Be well,

Doc